After Kev’s horrific showing in football picks last week (0-5), he said he’d find some videos of people dumber than him to boost his self-confidence. He didn’t have much trouble. The criminals in his compilation don’t exactly belong in the Ted Bundy/genius category. “Think Corky from Life Goes On,” Kev says:
One time, this guy crapped his pants because he was in such a hurry to get into a public restroom.
He’s already broken his patio door window twice.
Who asks for $200 in ransom (for yourself, no less)? Why not a hundred billion?
Why not put martial arts-trained Iranians in every convenience store? Although, the Intern says: “Who’s the bigger douche? The robber, or the store clerk making himself into a hero and doing jump kicks in the interview?”
And, finally, Kev’s piece de resistance, which will provide more laughs than his football picks. Almost.
Kev’s “super guaranteed” picks (3-7 this season)
Each Friday, Kev picks football games. Bear in mind, he is a parasite, a disease of football picking. They’re more pathetic than Kirk Van Houten.
We’ll review his picks every Wednesday in the PUP.
Painful. Watching the scores rack up last week – and multiple (justified) text messages and e-mails from Hurk and Larkin mocking my picks – has humbled my soul. Losses don't faze me, however. Undeterred, I will trudge to the local gambling kiosk and fill out a sure-fire winning ticket this week. You read that right. Sure-fire. It’s confidence like that that has landed me in the position I'm in today.
My dream match-up this year would be
David Garrard went down last week and put the nail in my 0-5 coffin. Damn you
What's up with Brian Griese? He's actually playing like a "quarterback." Detroit has been a decent team this year, but I can't see them beating the Bears at home. John Kitna's prayers to god go unanswered this week. Bears win.
Is -16.5 enough? Honestly? They've scored at least 34 in every game and basically made
This game is a toss-up, but the deciding factor will be whether or not Brian Childress has enough brains to figure out who his No. 1 running back is. Does it make sense that “All Day” had just 12 touches last week? After reading that, does it make sense that