The weekend’s studs:
1. BOBBY JENKS – the hefty, trashy White Sox closer tied a Major League record yesterday when he retired his 41st consecutive batter. Impressive, though it’s just the latest of many amazing streaks for Jenks. Forty-one consecutive beef jerky strips without vomiting. Forty-one burps in four minutes. Forty-one F-bombs in one phone call with Grandma. Forty-one straight math tests with a grade below 41. Congrats on the latest accolade, Bobby.
2. TIGER WOODS – believe it or not, this is Eldrick’s first SOJP star selection. Congrats on the cherry poppage, Tiger. Make that 13 major championships for you. What’s that? Tiger’s an annoying, obvious Three Star pick? F-U-C-K Y-O-U. What’s your problem? Why do you hate superstars so much? You hated Gretzky and
3. MAGGLIO ORDONEZ -- Maggs ran wild, homering twice in an eight-run second inning to lead
AND ONE CANADIAN EXPORT GIVING