Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Three Stars (and guys who aren't really to blame but we'll blame them anyway)

Last night’s studs:

1. BOBBY COX -- The Atlanta Braves manager set an all-time record for flipping his shit. Cox was tossed after arguing a called third strike against San Fran last night, running his career ejection total to 132. Don’t you wish there was an umpire around to give your dad the hook and have him removed from your home every time he flipped his shit? Then you wouldn’t have to explain all those bruises to your friends!

2. JOHN McDONALD -- McDonald was his usual (defensive) spectacular self last night, including a leaping grab off Vladdy Gurrero to end the game. Nope, he doesn’t mash, but he’s serviceable at the plate and a difference-maker with a glove. Some people have argued one of the Jays’ biggest weak links and reasons for faltering this season is Johnny Mac. The problem with that argument is you are a moron and don’t know what you’re talking about.

3. THE BOSTON RED SOX -- The Sox produced a plethora of warm, fuzzy stories in a 2-1 win over Tampa Bay: Jon Lester gave up just two hits and one run over seven innings -- a happy ending, since it was his first start at Fenway since returning from cancer; Eric Gagne struck out the side in the ninth to pick up the win -- a happy ending, since the stalky Canadian redeemed himself after single-handily costing Boston a pair of wins this weekend; and Mike Lowell and Coco Crisp produced a homer and RBI single, respectively, in the bottom of the ninth -- a happy ending, since it’s funny to give Tampa Bay fans a glimmer of hope that they might actually win a game before snatching it away like 1996 world yo-yo champion Dale Myrberg.

AND GUYS WHO AREN’T REALLY TO BLAME BUT WE’LL BLAME THEM ANYWAY: ROOKIES -- The Detroit Tigers are reportedly about to reward prep pitcher Rick Porcello a $7.3-million deal -- even though he’s in high school and has never thrown a professional pitch. The NFL is suffering a similar problem, as first-round draft picks are being paid better than established veteran superstars. It’s like dropping off an envelope stuffed full of laundered cash in the garbage can out front of Tim Donaghy’s house before Game 3 of the Suns-Spurs series; where does the madness end?

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