Monday, July 9, 2007

Three Stars (and one guy who doesn't really deserve to be one of the three stars upon closer inspection)

The weekend's studs:

1. CANADIAN BASEBALL PLAYERS -- Justin Morneau launched three balls into the U.S. Cellular bleachers as the Twinkies whipped the White Sox 12-0 Friday; Erik Bedard fanned 15 Texas Rangers en route to a two-hit shutout Saturday. Maybe their success can distract everyone from our nation's absolutely atrocious television industry (see: Train 48, every drama on CBC. Actually, don't see them. Ever. You'll turn to stone if you do.)

2. JEFF BAILEY -- After 11 years in Boston's minors, he finally got called up Friday to face the Tigers. He played the whole weekend and smacked a solo homer Sunday. Bailey probably felt as good as a 41-year-old man feels when he loses his V-Card -- and not even to a dirty prostitute (i.e. the Royals).

3. ANDERSON SILVA -- The UFC middleweight champion made his title defence look frighteningly easy Saturday as he knocked out Nate Marquardt in the first round. With his bony physique, he tops the list of "Guys you never know could absolutely end you in a bar fight." He looks like a 13-year-old female vampire but can explode your skull with one knee or surgeon-like jab.

AND ONE GUY WHO DOESN'T REALLY DESERVE TO BE ONE OF THE THREE STARS UPON CLOSER INSPECTION: JEFF BAILEY. Yeah, it's cute and fuzzy that he finally made the bigs and it's nice that he went yard, but the guy also went 1/11 over the weekend. And who wastes 11 years of life to make it to the bigs?

1 comment:

Denomme said...

I'd like to give a Three Stars vote to the entire Phildelphia Philies team.
Did you see them helping out with the tarp last night in Colorado during the storm?
It was good to see a classy act like that.