Thursday, June 7, 2007

Anaheim dumps Ottawa in Game 5, Leafs fans celebrate first Stanley Cup victory in four decades

TORONTO (SOJP) -- Cars were burned and windows were shattered as, for the first time in 40 years, Leafs fans finally had something to celebrate.

Before a sell out crowd at the Honda Centre in California last night the Anaheim Ducks eliminated the Ottawa Senators in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup final.

“It’s unbelievable,” shouted Robbie Tilton, who was parading about town with a posse of fellow Leafs fans. “It’s been a long wait but we fuckin’ deserve it! You can’t call us losers anymore!”

Travis Moen scored two goals in Anaheim’s 6-2 win. Ducks defenseman and captain Scott Niedermayer was awarded the Conn Smythe trophy. Anaheim is the first West Coast team to win the Cup.

“It’s, like, a wild trip,” said Devin Aspen, a Ducks fan and California native who watched the game in Toronto. “You could just feel the energy, you know? I could feel my brothers and sisters even though they were miles away.

“Now that Stanley trophy is finally ours.”

Dozens of elated Ducks fans gathered in downtown Anaheim to celebrate the win, but the real party was happening north of the border. The streets of Toronto were filled with rejoicing Leafs fans, who wandered through town with painted faces, waving flags and chanting “Go Leafs go.”

“We really showed those Ottawa pricks!” shouted Lou Pilber, a Toronto tavern owner, over the raucous crowd in his bar. “They think they’re hot shit. Who’s No. 1 now, huh?”

Embattled Toronto general manager John Ferguson Jr. admitted though the Leafs didn’t actually win the Stanley Cup, he’ll take it.

“It’s the closest we’ve been since I got here, I know that much,” Ferguson Jr. said. “Ottawa loses the Cup and everyone goes nuts. Unbelievable.

“It’s bought me some time, but I’m trying to win a real Cup. Now will you please get off my back? I’ve got Boston on the phone and I’m this close to pulling the trigger on a Steen/Pogge/first-round-pick package for Sturm and Tim Thomas.”

With the championship drought seemingly over, Toronto fans might leave Ferguson Jr. alone for a long time.

“People said we couldn’t do it, that we only ever won a championship because we were in a six-team league,” said Michael Troy, 54, a lifelong Leaf fan. “This proves the Toronto Maple Leafs are back and we’ve regained our rightful place as the greatest franchise in professional sports.”

A tickertape parade through downtown Toronto has been scheduled for Saturday.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Devin Aspen Rules!