Kev the Intern is pathetic for many a reason. The fact that he’s 26 years old and still living with his parents is a glaring one. And, because Mr. and Mrs. Intern are protective of little Kevy, his supply of masturbatory inspiration is in limited supply – they’ve installed Net Nanny on the family computer, blocking his access to his favourite Hentai websites, among others.
Consequently, Kev must find alternatives. One such substitute? Music videos. Here’s a couple of vids Kev keeps bookmarked:
Random Thoughts of the Week:
• Aren’t the current Miami Dolphins the perfect destination for Ricky Williams? No hype, no pressure, just a hopeless 0-9 team in a warm climate. He can probably light up on the sidelines. Will anyone care if he does? Will any TV network be airing a
• What’s with Wayne Gretzky’s hair? You could turn him upside down and use him as a mop. A crappy mop made of hay with no charisma that stars in a million commercials.
• Remember Michael Vick?
• Swing the fucking basketball already, Raptors.
• Is there really any way A-Rod will still be a Yankee 10 years from now? We don’t care what his contract stipulates. There’s no way a player that douchey can survive a full decade on a team with fans more rabid than Mike Tyson after you jab his genitals with a fire poker and tongue kiss his mother in front of him.
• Congrats, PGA, for introducing drug tests for 2008. Yes, some 13-year-old girls can drive the ball 300 yards, but grown men still need muscle to hit the ball far. It’s not about technique. The only question is: why the hell aren’t we cracking down on dart throwers and poker players? Geez.
Each Friday, Kev picks football games. Bear in mind, he is a parasite, a disease of football picking. They’re more pathetic than people who eat bugs for attention.
Jobs given to an intern: picking up donuts. Making copies. Being the brunt of many rather insulting jokes. Save Larkin and Hurk's ass. You read that right. Look at this place. They take more days off than George W. They take yesterday off after missing a full week? Could it be because this site was featured on SI.com and they want to milk it? Perhaps their festering love for each other boiled over after many hours stuck elbow-to-elbow in the SOJP office, and they’re taking some "personal time." Either way, leave it to the Intern to salvage this wreck of a website. On with the picks! Here is your winning ticket this week:
There are few things I enjoy more than watching Norv Turner fail. Watching Bryan McCabe pretend to play defense is up there, but I think Norv takes the cake. Hiring a career 63-86-1 coach may seem like a brilliant idea, but it's not really working out this year. Not that it’s really Norv's fault; he’s just a shitty head coach. I do kinda feel bad for L.T., though. That's why I'm taking
Chicago (+6) at
Seattle forced me to sit through possibly the worst Monday Nighter of all time, and it's for this reason alone I'm taking
NY Giants at
There was a whole story on ESPN about how Vince Young's production is dropping, yet the Titans keep winning (well, except for last week).
KC (+14.5) at Indy
I'm picking KC. Yup. Consider this my upset special of the week. No Marvin Harrison. No
Last week: 1-4
Season record: 5-14