1. CURTIS MARTIN -- The long-time New York Jet is calling it quits after an amazing, relatively under-the-radar career. Martin should be remembered not for his five Pro Bowls, 14,101 yards, or mental toughness that allowed him to play for Bill Parcells so long he could write a 500-page report documenting the Tuna’s breast development over the past decade. Rather, he should be remembered for how he carried himself on and off the field.
When asked to name some of the greatest backs in NFL history, few would immediately consider Martin, but his yardage ranks him fourth all-time on the rushing list. He never got into trouble and celebrated touchdowns by flipping the ball to the ref and heading for the bench. Finally, Curtis Martin is getting his due, forever immortalized with a star on Spirit of Jake Plummer.
2. RYAN RABURN – You just bought MLB 2K7 for PS3. You create your own guy, max out his rating, and park him on the Tigers. Then you mash 2 HR and 7 RBI in one game with him. Pretty cool, eh? That actually happened. Tigers rookie Raburn, who had roughly 40 big-league ABs before yesterday, mashed a pair of homers and knocked in seven. He had a sacrifice bunt in the first inning, then got the green light to put his 99 power rating and 99 contact rating to work. Note: Larkin hit 4 HR in an MLB 2K game with his dog yesterday. Eat that, Raburn.
3. THE SIXTH-INNING BLUE JAYS -- The Jays are doing what any self-respecting collection of jerks who don’t really care about winning would do: win just enough games in the second half to finish slightly above .500, giving the fans and ownership hope and ensuring people who aren’t even qualified to run your local Dairy Queen (hint: their names rhyme with A.D. Baccardi and Ron Hibbons), let alone a Major League baseball team, save their jobs for next season.
But hey, at least they’re doing it in style.
AND ONE PIECE OF DONKEY SHIT MASQUERADING AS A SPORTING EVENT: THE TOUR DE