Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Name Game: Prince the home run masher vs. Prince the androgynous popstar

Forget Harry or William. Those Nazi-lovin’ nancies can go play polo. When we’re talking princes, only two matter: Prince Rogers Nelson the musician and Prince Semien Fiedler the home run machine. But can you guess which Prince fits which description?

Claim to fame: Successful pop albums; towering home runs

Team: the Brewers; The Revolution

Made it big when he: released 1999; was born (weighed 50 pounds as a one-year-old)

You never thought you’d see him: hit an inside-the-park homer; marry a woman

As a child, known for: being Big Daddy’s estranged son, hitting bombs out of Tiger Stadium by age 12; being strange, not growing after age 12

Biggest hit: Purple Rain; walk-off homer against Pirates as a rookie

Biggest flop: Super Bowl XL; belly

Weaknesses: crushed velvet, pirate shirts; curveballs, brats

Shops in: Big and Tall store; women’s department

His daddy was: a jazz pianist; a three-time all-star and degenerate gambler

At a party, he’s: performing for horny cougars and gay men; seeing how many Pringles he can fit in his mouth at once

Pants are: really tight; really tight

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