Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Name Game: Prince the home run masher vs. Prince the androgynous popstar


Forget Harry or William. Those Nazi-lovin’ nancies can go play polo. When we’re talking princes, only two matter: Prince Rogers Nelson the musician and Prince Semien Fiedler the home run machine. But can you guess which Prince fits which description?


Claim to fame: Successful pop albums; towering home runs


Team: the Brewers; The Revolution


Made it big when he: released 1999; was born (weighed 50 pounds as a one-year-old)


You never thought you’d see him: hit an inside-the-park homer; marry a woman


As a child, known for: being Big Daddy’s estranged son, hitting bombs out of Tiger Stadium by age 12; being strange, not growing after age 12


Biggest hit: Purple Rain; walk-off homer against Pirates as a rookie


Biggest flop: Super Bowl XL; belly


Weaknesses: crushed velvet, pirate shirts; curveballs, brats


Shops in: Big and Tall store; women’s department


His daddy was: a jazz pianist; a three-time all-star and degenerate gambler


At a party, he’s: performing for horny cougars and gay men; seeing how many Pringles he can fit in his mouth at once


Pants are: really tight; really tight

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