Last night's studs:
1. SAMMY SOSA - He finally did it. Hard to believe he's done that little hop 600 times. Texas Rangers management took the field for the celebration and popped the bubbly; Sosa scrambled to save every last piece of cork.
2. JERED WEAVER - Tossed a complete-game shutout against the Pirates. We know that's the same as "Defeated Christopher Reeve by TKO in first round," but we have to honour the statline.
3. RYAN LUDWICK - Walkoff homer in the 14th inning? Cool. Probably played like a movie in his head -- a movie starring Kevin Costner and Gary Busey that gets one star and makes $4.2 million at the box office. Says People Weekly: "A strong candidate for the worst film ever made. Costner and Busey may not have even known the camera was rolling as they flopped around onscreen."
TODAY'S DINGBAT: The immortal Mike Zagurski. The Phillies rookie was sensational last night. Extremely efficient. In just six pitches (two of which were strikes), he managed to walk a guy, give up two runs and retire zero batters. The guy's a regular Rumpelstiltskin.