Friday, September 21, 2007

Friday Fun Links: Mascot Madness

So the Intern was chowing down on breakfast last week (Count Chocula – time to grow up, Kevy) when he came across this link. Yes, that’s the Oregon Duck beating the piss out of the Houston Cougar. Why? Because that sumbitch stole the Duck’s trademark push-up routine. The crowd thought it was staged but, alas, these mascots were actually taking themselves a bit too seriously; the Duck was even suspended for a game. Kev’s favourite part was “when the Duck violently thrusts his groin into the Cougar’s face.”

Speaking of mascots and groin activity, the Intern is a bit of a plushophile. It’s not a serious case – he shakes the spray paint a couple of times a week to his furry friends, but that’s about it. Thus, he already had a healthy library in order for today’s Friday Fun Links: Mascot Madness.

It’s okay to admit you’ve been served – hey, who hasn’t? But by a stuffed elephant? These guys take the whole “the breaking dancing culture is a way of life” thing a bit far, even returning for a rematch against Thumper, the Oakland Athletics’ mascot.

The Bengals are writing up a contract for this guy as we speak. Lesson of the day: never steal Michigan State’s flag unless you want to cough up a lung.

Urban mascot lore says the Toronto Raptor knocked T-Wolf out cold after slamming his head off the court. By the way, for those of you who follow urban mascot lore: it’s true, the urban legend you heard about sex being good is true too. Try it some time.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t locate a video of the Mariner Moose horrifically mangling his ankle in the outfield a few years back. If anyone finds it, send it along and we’ll post it. For now, you’ll have to settle for the Moose trying to kill Coco Crisp with an ATV.

That’s it for now. Enjoy your boring, monotonous, SOJP-less weekend.

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